Here are some personal thoughts, please forgive...
I've heard people say that as they listen to General Conference, they hear a general theme. I think this is right, but I think the theme everyone hears probably differs from other people, depending on what it is that they need to hear at the time.
I've been listening to General Conference on my Ipod as I exercise (I highly recommend this by the way-you can download it for free) and the theme I've heard over and over again is how much we need to focus on our primary role as parents and raising these little spirits. The more I listened to this theme being repeated over and over, the more anxiety I felt about my working situation. It's only one night per week but the day before and after my night shift I'm grumpy as I stress out about the lack of sleep. It throws off our family routine and overall is a challenge (actually I become a challenge to my family).
Last night Dennis and I both felt strongly that I should postpone my nursing career indefinitely and focus on being a mom. As soon as we decided this, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. I literally felt overwhelmed with joy at having made this decision. Then, just as it seems to always happen, I felt a flood of doubts come into my mind. I lay awake in bed for a couple of hours as it seemed like a floodgate of doubts had been opened on my mind and I couldn't shut them off. What about our plans to pay off our mortgage early? What about our savings? Will I lose my skills as a nurse? My income from my work was only going to savings and debt elimination, but it will still create a hole in our finances. This flood of doubts actually confirmed to me further that I am making the correct decision. It seems like whenever the Spirit confirms something special and important to you, Satan moves in right after and tries to undo all that you've felt by inundating you in doubt and fear.
I remember feeling like this after I agreed to marry Dennis. I knew that whoever married Dennis would be the luckiest girl in the world but I still felt an overwhelming sense of doubt if I was to be that girl. This doubt was so consuming that I lost many nights of sleep and almost called off the wedding. One day after expressing these feelings to my dad he taught me this principle of the pattern of confirmation followed by doubt. I will always be grateful for that lesson. It scares me to think what my life would be like if I had followed those feelings of doubt and called off the wedding. Marrying Dennis was easily the best decision I've ever made in my life.
So here we go. I realize it might not seem like a big deal, but this is the first time since I've been a mom, that I've decided to be a 100% stay-at-home mom. I know some ego will have to be sacrified since I take pride in my nursing career. It will definitely be a change, but a great one, and I am thrilled.