Thursday, August 11, 2011

What am I going to do with this kid?

Disclaimer: I've been debating whether this is appropriate to post but then I thought, "What the heck? This is my blog and I'll post whatever I want!" Just know it's all in good fun and that my son really is quite normal.

I just know that Luke's going to hate me when he's 16 and reads this. Actually probably more than anything he'll be totally weirded out by his 4 year old self but it's just too good to not get a good laugh from now when it's done in total innocence.

I should probably back up a few months to when I was pregnant. As any woman that has been pregnant can attest, pregnancy has a way of making you ...ehhhhh....jou ju saaaaay... (as Latins say when they're trying to think of a word) more bounteous, abundant, plentiful, well it what you will.

I was about 6 months pregnant and I had gone from barely there to very much there if you catch my drift. I was leaning forward helping him clean up after his toilet business when he looked up and took a curious poke at my chest. Not thinking too much of it, I explained to him that those were my "privates" (I'm not ready to hear my four year old say boobs or breasts) and to please not touch them. He looked up and grinned and said, "I know...but I sure do like 'em!" I laughed but was a little taken back since he had never mentioned anything about them before. But then I guess there really hadn't been anything worth mentioning or poking until then.

Then a few days later I was getting dressed in my walk-in closet with the door closed when he unexpectedly burst in. He took one look at me, pointed up at the girls and said, "MOM!!! Those things are AWESOME! Did you buy those?" Oh son, if you only knew the price some women actually do pay.

A couple of days later I was getting dressed again in my bathroom when he burst in doing the potty dance (I really need to teach that kid how to knock). As he scurried past me towards the toilet doing the knock-kneed, crotch-holding wobble, he glanced at me quickly, pointed up at them, and then smiled to himself shaking his head saying, "Those are so cool."

Finally tonight we were at the mall and we walked past the lingerie section in one of the stores. He stopped, admiring the frilly bras and with all innocence said to Dennis, "These privates would look beautiful on mom." I should probably teach him the word for bra. "Privates" is apparently his default word for anything between the belly-button and shoulders be it clothing or flesh. Some clarification would probably be helpful.

But seriously kid! What am I going to do with you?

On a side note, speaking of how Latins say things, I've been helping a Mexican friend of mine with her homework from an English class she's taking. I just love how she teaches herself the pronunciation for the words. Next to the English word, she writes out the pronunciation as she would say it in Spanish. It's quite clever if you ask me and she's doing really well with it. She'll ask me to say the word in English two or three times as she carefully watches my mouth. Then she thoughtfully spells out what she hears and sees my mouth do. Wouldn't English be so much easier to learn if words were really spelled this way? It makes me smile.

Hello: jelo
Name: naim
Daughter: dare
Husband: jasban
Wife: guaif
Mail: maio
Water: guare
Please: plis
Vegetables: veshtabos
Good Bye: gud bai

Completely random piece of information: I realized in helping her that the letters k and w don't occur anywhere naturally in the Spanish language. Although they're in their alphabet, they're only written when using words from other languages like English. There's your useless piece of trivia for the day. And you thunk I wasn't smart.


Liz Johnson said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's so awesome. I love it. In a way, it makes me happy that an innocent kid admires boobs... like you know, they're pretty cool. Just wait until he realizes that not only are they pretty, but THEY MAKE FOOD! Gasp!!

Cher said...

oh oh. you're in trouble, he's only 4?!
but that's funny!

Trent and Julie said...

Showed this entry to Trent we both had a good laugh! Men/ in your case boys--what are we going to do with them.