Tuesday, September 25, 2012

How the fish married the bird

Hawkes family pics 133-1
The other night Dennis and I lay in bed discussing our future goals and where we'd like to end up living in the next few years.  I dream of traveling often, hopping from one adventure to another and living in a large city.  Dennis dreams of living on several acres and reaping the benefits of stability.

I said to him, "You and I are like the fish who married the bird.  No matter where we live, at least one of us, or both will always feel a little like a fish out of water."

Several times since we've been married, people have commented what an odd couple Dennis and I are.  Him, a farm boy from rural Idaho with a big truck and callused hands- and me, a city girl who grew up in Latin America with an insatiable need for change.  I tell people who comment on the oddity of our relationship that while we may not have much in common, we are very much compatible with each other- and sometimes that compatibility is better than commonality.

As we talked the other night, he told me that I had encouraged him to reach outside his comfort zone and to try new things.  He said he had done things and gone places he would have never done on his own.  I told him he grounded me and helped me keep my head on straight.  I've learned (or at least tried) to stop always looking around the corner for the next adventure, and just be grateful for what's in front of me.

But there are times like last Sunday, in Stake Conference when I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of sadness when the speaker spoke of remarkable experiences had with the wonderful African people.  My heart hurt a little when I realized, with an aching pit in my stomach, that I would likely never live overseas again.  With tears in my eyes, I thought perhaps it's time to let go and just focus on just living out the reality that's right in front of me.  And what a beautiful reality that is.

I imagine that Dennis probably also feels a similar ache to think of his treasured childhood days of bucking hay and working on tractors.  He once told me that when the hot summer turns to harvest time, it tugs a little at his heartstrings when he remembers what that time of  year used to mean to him as a child.  He has given up so much to be married to this fish.

What an interesting paradox- to love so much what you have but to still yearn for something.  But the one thing I do know is that I would give up any dream of adventure and travel to spend the rest of my days and eternity with this man.


Jeff and Kris said...

I always smile when I read your posts, I often feel like you have been sneaking into my brain and stealing my own thoughts! Thank you for ALWAYS stating things so beautifully!! You have a gift!

Cristina said...

I am reading this book right now called "Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" It's cute, a little long winded, but pretty funny in some parts. It reminds me a little bit of you and Dennis :) You should read it sometime. Great post by the way!

AllisonK said...

Beautifully expressed. John and I are both so different as well, but our love and dedication to each other and the Gospel help when those heart strings are pulled.

Cher said...

awww, so cute.
brent and i have very little in common. strangely though, we both would like to live abroad. we've had to realize that most likely that dream, even though we both want it, won't actually happen.
thanks for the reminder to be happy with where we are now.

Anonymous said...

I work at a hospital and interact with people at various stages of their lives. There are many wonderful people who "retire" from their first jobs and raising kids in their mid 50's, then as a couple, newly independent, go on to do consulting in China or Asia, spend 3 months at a time in various villages throughout the world soaking in the local cultures and languages, or start on things they always wanted to do: large-scale sculptures, visiting every national park in their country, teaching English, inventing products. Then in their mid 70's they have to slow down a little and re-group nearer to home, but still carving out splendid lives with good qualities of lives until their 80's and 90's.

They say 40 is the new 20, and 60 is the new 40. There is some truth there. I say keep your dreams alive, and with a little creativity, you can both have everything you've ever imagined and more. Love, Percy

Rita said...

Those are all great things to consider and to keep in mind. I hadn't thought about those things you had mentioned. I'm excited to see what the future holds for us.

Trent and Julie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trent and Julie said...

So glad you two are together!! love ya

patty said...

Cristina was lucky...she's a bird that married a bird. (Hawkes & Crane). Ha ha. Fun talking to you today. See you next week.