Thursday, April 17, 2014
I went to see my doctor on Tuesday and he told me I was dilated to a three and that he thought the baby could very well come soon and quickly when she does. That night I was up all night with contractions and discomforts. Although they were irregular and not too painful, I was still only able to catch about 2 hours of light sleep. The next day (yesterday) I was a zombie. My contractions had settled down to my dismay and I was left to fumble around the house in a daze of exhaustion. Thankfully, last night I was able to sleep as soundly as a pregnant woman can, which isn't very soundly at all, but still it was a huge improvement and I woke up feeling rejuvenated.
I think one of the biggest challenges and lessons to learn as a mother is one that Heavenly Father deliberately designed as one of the inherent natures of motherhood. I think the lesson is to learn to focus on the bigger, eternal picture rather than the challenges and frustrations of the here and now. And we are tested on this on an almost hourly basis. But then I think there are moments when He does give us a glimpse of the bigger picture. It's almost like a window to heaven is cracked open so we can take a peak inside and see what it is we're really doing each day- what it is we're really fighting for. As I got my kids ready for school this morning, I had one of those moments.
As the boys stood by the front door waiting to go to school, I asked them if they could come next to me so that we could say family prayer. The girls jumped down from the breakfast table and joined us. The early morning sunshine was pouring in through the window behind me as I sat down with my children gathered around me. Lauren placed her little arm on my pregnant belly and leaned her head against my shoulder as I prayed. The other three stood reverently with heads bowed as I prayed on their behalf and on behalf of our unborn child. I was overcome with love and gratitude for these five little ones that teach me so much.
I remember watching a movie as a kid where the dad talked about pictures. He talked about how we often don't have a camera in hand to take pictures of the most sacred moments in life, but that we always have our hearts to take that picture. While the picture of a camera can someday fade away, he said, the pictures of our heart never will. At that moment of prayer with my children, my heart took a picture. After the boys were at school, I had to take a picture with my camera of the sunshine pouring in, where we had prayed together just moments before.
Yes, these final days before the baby comes are difficult and frustrating and long, but they are sacred as well as we prepare to welcome another gift from God into our family.
Posted by Rita