Wednesday, May 28, 2014

One of those days

I'm exhausted right now so please forgive.  This is rawly written but I think it's important to write like this sometimes, letting the thoughts just flow with little editing and over-thinking.

It started at 7am when Lauren frantically came into my room telling me that Calista had peed on the floor.  We had forgotten to put her in a diaper to sleep in last night and apparently she had crawled onto the floor to sleep after we had gone to bed.  I walked into their room and could immediately smell the incriminating evidence.  I was exhausted, having been up with Mila during the night, but still the clothes and blankets had to be washed and the carpet cleaned.

Before breakfast, I unloaded the dishwasher and put the dishes away, only to notice, just as I was putting the last plate away, that the dishwasher tablet had not released from the dispenser when I started it the night before.  So I pulled all of the dishes back out of the cupboards, reloaded the dishwasher and restarted the cycle.

As I ate breakfast with the kids, we discussed the plans for today, setting a time for us to leave to run our errands at 10:00....  At 11:30 we finally pulled out of the driveway.  This after losing my temper when Calista peed on the floor again, after adamently insisting that she didn't need to go.

We headed to the library first, spent 30 minutes gathering books, and as we were checking out, discovered that our annual library membership fee needed to be renewed... with cash or check only. And I only had a debit card with me.

We then headed to eye doctor where we discovered that two of my children need glasses and that the other two will likely need them in the next couple of years.  $350, two hours, and a carful of grumpy kids later, we finally left.  Oh... and Calista peed on the floor again at the doctor's office.

By now I was exhausted, but the boys asked if we could finish off our plan for the day and go to the rec center for the free racquetball class that they offer every Wednesday.  They had never been to one before, and I was anxious for them to try it out.  I waited in the car for an hour with a screaming baby and two tired little girls.  At this point, Mila was unconsolable, almost delirious with exhaustion, since she had barely slept all day.

...and the boys hated the racquetball class.  Luke especially because the instructor kept calling him, "big man" and Camden insisting that the class was full of "preschoolers."

I came home to make dinner for four ravenous little wolves reminding me every 30 seconds how hungry they were, with a screaming baby on my hip.  And Dennis was gone to a church meeting. Poor guy came home to find the house looking like the Tazmanian devil had come to pay us a visit.

It took me an hour to finally get Mila settled to sleep tonight, and I am exhausted.  Even as I re-read what I just wrote, I can tell how tired I am by my writing.

As I reviewed the day in my head, I wondered how I can possibly do this again tomorrow, let alone the rest of the summer.

So why am I writing this at almost midnight, especially after this being "one of those days"?  I guess it's because I want my kids to know that when they have children of their own, that there will be days like this.  Lots of them.  They'll look back on the day and think that they failed epically as a parent, especially when they lost their temper like I did today.  And there will be more times than they can count when their brains are as fried as mine is now. But tomorrow always brings another day and things always look brighter in the morning.

I want them to look for the little things that happened throughout the day that remind them that God is there.  And even in the most frustrating of times, He sends us tender mercies reminding us of His love for us.  Like when I watched my kids play together at the park today.  They played with eachother like they were the best of friends, laughing and chasing after each other with squeals of delight.  And then when Camden hugged me long and tight before going to bed and thanked me for everything I had done for them.

Yes, tomorrow will come and things will look brighter in the morning.  They always do.
Tonight while I was trying to get Mila to fall asleep, Luke crawled in bed with me wanting to talk.  He grabbed my phone and took a selfie of us.  That is one tired lady next to a bright-eyed, sweet little boy.


Percy W Hawkes said...

Dear Rita: Thanks for recording that. You are a wonderful mom and daughter. I laughed as I read about your day, then all of a sudden I realized I had tears in my eyes. You are in our prayers every night and morning. Love, DAD

Luisa Hawkes said...

Oh Ritita hermosa; How I wish I could say that I feel sad after reading your comments...but I had such a good laugh reading it, that it has made me happy and I was rather sad before reading it. Hung in there my time you are so tired..stop, take a deep breath and tell your little ones that you need a tight hug and a kiss, I promise, it will make you feel better!!!

Luisa Hawkes said...

I absolutely loved, loved the guys look like brother and sister!! The very same dreamy beautiful eyes.

Cristina Crane said...

You are a great mother, Rita! You're kiddos are lucky to have you :)

Cher said...

that was amusing, because all moms have been there. :) i think you're amazing you were even getting out of the house with all of them!