Early this morning I awoke from a terrible dream. In it, masses of people were being hunted down and slaughtered right before my eyes. A massive, unseen enemy was spreading over the city like a plague, destroying everything in its path, using humans whose hearts had failed them, to carry out its evil work. I wept as I watched children being cornered and viciously destroyed in their innocence. I was being protected by a small team of people who sacrificed their own lives in an effort to save mine. But as time went on, those of my team who weren’t killed, were discovered to be traitors, and I was left alone to flee. I was eventually joined by the queen, who seeing the destruction of her kingdom, disguised herself and fled. Hell was being unleashed in all its fury, right before my eyes.
I awoke to Mila crying at about 5:45 this morning. Even with the realization that it had all been a dream, it still took me almost an hour to rid myself of the adrenaline and terror that I could feel, literally pulsing through my veins. I decided the surest way to gain control over the terror I felt would be to write, so here I sit in a darkened house writing, waiting for the sun to peak over the horizon and burn away my terrible dream.
I know where the dream came from, especially in such graphic clarity. Last night I was watching the news, feeling nauseated from some of the stories- especially those that involved unthinkable crimes against children. As I knelt down to pray before going to bed, I pled for those children, asking Heavenly Father to strengthen and protect them.
I recently read a family member’s patriarchal blessing that said that before the Second Coming, they would witness things that would be of a nature of to curdle their blood. My dream was reflection of the horror I feel so often now days as I read the news and hear of so much of the tragedy and evil that is around me.
As I lay in bed this morning, trying to force the graphic images from my dream out of my head, I thought of my own family. We went out to dinner last night and I remember looking at my children, thinking how blessed I am to have these beautiful little humans to raise. They have such amazing little souls housed in those tiny little bodies. I thought of the fun we had during Family Home Evening as we laughed and played a silly game together. It felt like heaven on earth. It seemed so far away from the horrors of my dream, and yet it had only been a few hours before.
It’s interesting how heaven and hell can exist so close to each other- almost as if they are next-door neighbors who share a wall. In one moment we can witness the beauty and majesty of God, and in the very next moment we behold the vileness and cruelties of Satan. But even with the powers of hell raging, I have the power to choose. I don't want to wait for heaven to come after I die. I choose heaven here and now.