Thursday, January 7, 2016

Staggering news

I did a lot of crying on Monday evening. Anytime my mind went back to the phone call, the tears would start to fall. Dennis was the same. We walked around most of the evening with red, puffy eyes and wads of tissues. But these tears were different and our children weren't sure what to think. We had told them the news, but seeing our tears left them unsure if what had just happened was good or bad.

Around 4pm I got a call from a woman saying she was representing a law firm. My initial reaction a sinking feeling of dread. What now? I thought. Has someone filed a lawsuit against us for some reason? Surely this was going to be one more of a thousand obstacles we've had over the past year and I braced myself.

"I would like to inform you that a donor, who would like to remain anonymous, has heard about your adoption and would like to make a donation." She paused for a moment and then finished, "They would like to cover the remaining portion of your adoption costs."

I sat in silence completely dumb-founded. This had to be a mistake.We had only raised a little over half of the estimated costs, leaving a huge amount that we had figured would have to be covered by loans. We had spent the past several weeks trying to decide how best to secure the loans. To consider that someone would be willing to cover it was staggering.

I sat in silence, completely at a loss on how to break it to her that the cost was higher than they knew.

She must have guessed what was going through my mind because she then told me that the donor was aware that the remaining portion was quite large and that they were willing to cover it.

I fumbled for words but all that came out were unintelligible sounds. When the words finally did come, they were strangled off by shock and emotion.

The woman laughed and said, "That's okay, this is the fun part of my job." She gave me a few instructions and the call ended with me still in a daze.

When Dennis got home from work, his eyes filled with tears when I told him the news, and he walked quickly away. A moment later I saw him in our darkened room, kneeling at the side of our bed praying. When he came out of our room, we hugged and cried, and then cried some more.

We gathered our children, telling them the news and then knelt together in prayer to thank our Heavenly Father. Just the day before we had held a special family fast that somehow things would work out financially, but we had thought our prayers would be answered in the form of loans with low interest rates, and that was something we would have gratefully accepted.

I slept fitfully that night, partly still in disbelief and partly filled with feelings of guilt that this was being done for us. There are so many people more in need and more deserving than we are. And then I remembered that this was not only being done for us, but for a little girl who has waited for almost 12 years for a family to call her own.

I realize that our donor wants to remain anonymous, but I hope he or she reads this even though words are woefully inadequate at this point. I hope they feel our deep love for them even though we don't have a name or a face to attach to their actions. That night when we knelt together as a family, I prayed that the windows of heaven would be open and pour its blessings upon them. I pray I will never forget the way I felt that day- that if and when things become difficult after our little girl comes home, that I will remember that God has laced our journey with angels, both seen and unseen, all along our way. I will repay this debt somehow- I promise. You have my word on that.

This little girl is of infinite worth to our Heavenly Father. What else would explain the blessings followed by the opposition all along the way, as if heaven and hell have been engaged in a year-long tug of war. Things may continue to be difficult for us after she's home, but this week I realized that after all that has happened, heaven finally won. Our little girl will be home soon.